Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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