Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
