In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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