I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
How does it feel to date your dad?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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