Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
