I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I wannas sexs uuuuu
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
