community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Randomize
