have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
