I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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