apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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