I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
