She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
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i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
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I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I have aggressive nipples.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.