we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
one might say we're banned from that church
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
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I got her a Nickelback box set.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
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he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights