My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
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And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
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The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.