R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.