is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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