i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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