guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
