So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
