At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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