don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
