It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
