All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
