Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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