I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
