please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Be still, my beating vagina.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
