Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
3 2 1 whiskey
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
