five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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