Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
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