what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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