You work out of a Hotel?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Randomize
