Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
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If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
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Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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