so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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