I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
