just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize