i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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