Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
