Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
