the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
