I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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