that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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