well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
