what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize