Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
