If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
