I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
