I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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