i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
