He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
