Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
