I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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