new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
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He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
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As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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