That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
