Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
