You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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