I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
How external is "for external use only"?
This baby is an asshole
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
