btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
