well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
