if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
