Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
