I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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