I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
