is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
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