im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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