i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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