Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
