the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i think my cat just said my name.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
