How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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