My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
