I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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