thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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